Learnings from the Trenches of Illness: It is possible to heal the busyness addiction!
Sometimes there are nuggets of good in the very bad. There is even the odd bonus in getting sick enough that surviving some days is a triumph.
I have cured myself, completely, of the busyness addiction. How many times have you asked a friend you have not seen for a while “how are you?” only to hear “so busy”, “flat out” etc. I always felt there was a small hint of importance of self-satisfaction in these answers. After all only super important successful people are so ‘super busy’. Wonder woman isn’t sitting around eating ice cream … or is she?
While I am not busy – am I not important? Today I spent most of the day in bed (sick not lazing), meditating and working myself up to a 2.5 hour social engagement. One with family, one I really wanted to keep. I overdid it a bit with the excitement of being up and washed and dressed, that I became so effervescent and conversation hoggish that I think I will need to spend tomorrow in bed to recover (as will my poor family).
I fell accidentally into structure free days; I had to cancel all engagements for so long, being so sick that eventually it became the norm. As I can ‘work’ from home, leaving the house became a non-event. I soon realised that even on (increasingly rare) good days, I preferred busyness free days.
Of course I am talking a bit of rubbish because each day is pretty full: my PhD, home duties, mum duties (gymnastics, piano practice etc) and health (appointments, shopping, blogging, and trying new things to blog about, and let’s not forget all those hours in bed). The thing is – the minimum fits just about right. Just busy enough to stay awake, not so busy that it causes me stress. Of course I am not stress free, my core personality and 15 illnesses see to that, however I am free of over commitments and busyness.
Of course I had to get so sick I could not function in the wonder-woman/super mum mold to achieve this minor triumph. Now I don’t want to let go of it, possibly ever. How then do I re-enter the world and protect my me-time and keep my day gloriously in my own control? That is the one million dollar question. (Un)fortunately my health seems to be saying – “don’t worry about that just yet eh love?”.
Where are you over busying yourself today? What have you said ‘yes’ to that you knew in your heart-of-hearts should have been a ‘no-way-Jose’?
Yours as ever,